Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

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Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by Mizaki on Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:50 am

Basic Information

Name: Patrick Dube

Age: Age: 18 Actual: 322

Gender: male

Division: 7th

Seat: Vice-Captain

Looks:
Spoiler:

Personality: Patrick thinks himself to be one of the goody-two-shoes type. Even though he jumps at the chance of making himself better(i.e, if he needs to kill someone to get better, he will). Patrick also believes that his actions are justified, always. He treats his opponents with the upmost respect, like everyone else.

Stats
(Depending on your rank, please distribute the amount of stats that you receive within the four options)

Strength:
25

Speed: 25

Accuracy: 25

Stamina: 20

Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Suigetsu

Zanpakuto Looks:
Spoiler:

Zanpakuto Description: Usually has the ability to lengthen with humidity and shorten when in dry air. Suigetsu also has the ability to use Phantom blade. It uses the humidity to it’s advantage making a microscopic amount of water follow the tip of the sword.

Released Zanpakuto Description: When Released Suigetsu become pure liquid. Usually it is kept in a whip form with an ice barb at the tip sharp enough to cut steel (Not zanpaktou’s but steel)


Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Ripple; Suigetsu!

Released Zanpakuto Looks: Usually a whip, Suigetsu can be morphed into other objects shapes at the users will. It forms solid objects with a crystalline structure similar to that of a carbon gem

Zanpakuto Spirit: A white wolf

Zanpakuto Realm: A dark forest illuminated by a full moon reflecting off of a pond

Bankai Information
(This applies to captains, and advanced lieutenants only)

Bankai Description: Patrick's speed is increased by 10 and his strength increased by 5. Patrick's stamina drops 5.
Watery Grave: Brings forth a water demon, he repeatedly attacks the target, then drags them down underwater and attempts to drown them. Patrick can summon 2 at a time, but it costs about 20% of his energy for each one, so he tends to stick with just 1. The demon has the same stats as Patrick, when he activates his bankai. They can stay for about 3 posts.
Spoiler:
Suigetsu's Mist: Suigetsu appears beside Patrick and throws icicles at the opponent. Summoning Suigetsu takes about 5-10% of his spiritual pressure and she can stay fro about, 4-5 posts. He can make a water sheild, or, he can fire icicles at the opponent. Each icicle she fires, costs 2% of Patrick's spiritual pressure. For every turn the water sheild is up, Patrick becomes weaker, in stamina wise (loses 3-5 stamina each turn).

Bankai Looks:
Spoiler:

Alterations: N/A

History and RP Sample

History: Rukon District Arc
Patrick lived in the 69th district, living alone, fending for himself when he was little. He died when he was just a baby, birth problems. He grew up with some lady, who was killed in a hollow attack in the 76th district. Patrick believed he was cursed, because for awhile, everyone who lived with him, died.
Then he started to live alone. Patrick fought off people who tried to take his food away from him. He would always lose, it wasn't right for a kid his age to grow up in the 69th district, well, that's what a little old couple thought. The ones who took him in and raised him.
He moved from the 69th district to the 56th district, “moving up in the world”. He played with the dog that they had living with them. And they learned all about his hard life in the 69th district, how, he lost his 'mother' to a bunch of hollows and how, he had to fend for himself in the district. They raised him to be a good person, and when he saw 2 captains and a lieutenant run by his house, he knew what he wanted to do.
Since he heard that Soul Reapers live well in the Seireitei. Patrick wanted the 2 elderly couple to live a good life, away from the thieves and hollows. So when 3 Soul reapers went on patrol, twin souls and a 3rd one. The 3rd one left the twins and walked on his own, where Patrick went up and talked to him, asking him what it took to become a soul reaper, and how long it would take.
The Soul Reaper told him it was easy, and that he had nothing to worry about, if he was going to take the test to get in. So, when Patrick was old enough, he took the test. Patrick failed the first one, but since he know knew what was on it, he studied it till it almost passed out. When he re-took it, he passed. Then, he started the Academy.

Soul Reaper Academy Arc
Patrick started in the academy and was probably the most average guy you'd meet. He had average scores, he could do almost anything you'd ask, anything for any skill level. He'd show progress in his skills, he was just a normal Soul Reaper. He did the same thing every day, from waking up early in the morning to do practise of his skills.
To going to class, and having the same lunch every day. He even took the same route home. He would walk through the 54th district, to get to the 56th district. But one day, he took a risk, he decided to go around, and go through the 80th district, where hollows usually appear. He walked past some kids, who where sick, and made it to a long path, that looks like it goes no wheres.
So he stood in the middle of the path and stared into the abyss. He looked, and just stood for at least 5 minutes and then he slowly turned around to leave towards home. He took 1 step and a Menos Grande appeared. Patrick turned around quickly, and shocked. He tried to run away, for the fear of his life, and he tripped over his own foot. He peered around and looked at the Menos Grande and it stared at him.
The Menos Grande was about to attack, then the captain of Squad 7 appeared, and killed the Menos Grande with ease, then, he was gone just like that. Patrick was in awe, from the event that just happened. His life was saved by a mysterious captain. So Patrick dedicated his life to becoming a better soul reaper. So he got up from the spot he was sitting in, and he ran home, to train and study like no one else did before him. It only took 1 ½ years for him to get out of the Academy.

5th – Lieutenant Arc
Patrick started in the 7th division, 5th seat. Patrick was worked to the bone when he was introduced into the division. Could be because he graduated faster then anyone had before him. He was appointed 5th seat, and Lieutenant's aide for about 2 years, until the Lieutenant was killed by a hollow, who killed 6th and 9th seat of the 7th division.
After the death of the Lieutenant, Patrick became the 4th seat, and was giving more duties because of the new Lieutenant was quite lazy and shirked off his duties a lot. No matter what seat Patrick took, he was always the Lieutenant's aide and always did what needed to be done that the Lieutenant needed. Patrick quickly fought off the fear of him falling behind the rest of the squad. He spent 1 year being the 4th seat in the division, and nothing happened when he was 3rd seat, because it was quiet. Then, after 1 year, something did happen.
A hollow struck the Lieutenant and Patrick while they where on patrol in the Human World. 2 Menos Grande appear, and wounded the Lieutenant pretty badly. Patrick quickly fought back, cutting one of the Menos's arms off. The wounded Lieutenant was bleeding pretty badly, and he was also freaking out pretty badly. Patrick wondered how did he get to be Lieutenant? The wounded Menos fled, the other screamed for help, but no help came for it. Patrick needed to defend the wounded Soul Reaper, Patrick was, afraid. Then he heard a voice, a voice telling him to embrace his fears, he had no idea who it was, but he did it.
He was in another world, a world, with his Zanpakutou spirit. They started to talk about how he should overcome his fears. Then, he learned his Zanpakutou's spirits name. “Suigetsu” he mumbled to himself, then his Zanpakutou changed shape, and he had courage that allowed him to slice up the Menos and kill it quickly. When Patrick sheathed his Zanpakutou, he ran over to the Lieutenant. He asked him how he was, and he got no response.
He was dead. Patrick was sadden by the turn of events. Sadden that one of his comrades was killed in the line of duty. Patrick brought the dead soul reaper back to the division and there was a burial for him. The next day, Patrick became the new 7th Division Lieutenant.

RP Sample: Patrick was standing in a room, with 2 other Soul Reapers. Since he was lieutenant, he had to train harder, so, he challenged 2 soul reapers to help him out. “Come on guys! Lets do this!” said Patrick, unsheathing his Zanpakutou and moving his body into a fighting stance. The other 2 drew theirs, and charged at Patrick at both sides. “How predictable,” said Patrick, as he flash stepped out of the way. Allowing the other 2 to knock into each other. “Get serious you 2!” said Patrick as he took a swing at the one who came at him from the left, the other one, blocked Patrick, and the one who Patrick was aiming for hit Patrick in the stomach with his Zanpakutou's hilt. Patrick fell back, but he somersaulted and blocked all the attacks from the 2 soul reapers. The 2 jumped back from one slice from Patrick, and they both had a bead of sweat fall down their cheeks. “Ripple; Suigetsu!” screamed Patrick, the shape of his Zanpakutou had quickly changed into something else. The room that the 3 of them where in, started to flood pretty quickly, switch caught the 2 of them by surprise. “Come on! Your Division 7! You should know better to be caught off guard!” said Patrick, in a lecturing voice. He was walking on the water and kicked the one who elbowed him in the face, causing him to fall back and fall unconscious. The other one was in shock and horror of Patrick, and blurted out, “This is madness!”. Patrick looked at the man and shook his head. “Madness?” said Patrick, walking slowly towards the man. “This is life!” said Patrick appearing behind the man and hitting him on the head with the hilt of his Zanpakutou. Patrick walked out of the room and patted his feet with a towel. “Hmm...maybe I over did it a little?” said Patrick as he walked down the street. Patrick walked till he hit the 80th division. He glanced down the abyss, looking into nothingness. Hoping to see the captain who saved him oh so long ago. “Who where you? What division where you? What was your name?” he asked to himself, over and over again. Till it was dusk out, and it was time for him to go home. He slowly turned around, and a Menos Grande appeared. He paused, and turned his head around slowly. He gazed at the giant, and smirked. “This time, I won't be saved!” said Patrick, taking out his Zanpakutou and jumping up into the air. He slashed right above the hole in the chest of the Menos, it screeched, a screech Patrick hasn't heard in a long time. Patrick covered his ears, switch was his first mistake, it punched Patrick, sending him towards a building, making him crash into it, destroying it. A Menos was to strong for Patrick to fight on his own, or, so it would have been 3 years ago. Patrick mumbled while in the destroyed house. A blue blur came out of the house and slashed the Menos's eyes, blinding it. It appeared to be a water demon, or spirit. Patrick put one foot on the broken wall, staring at the wounded Menos Grande. His Zanpakutou looked, different, it was his Bankai. Patrick jumped up, high into the sky, the moon made a silhouette out of him. He came crashing down, slicing the Menos in half, in a single slice. The Menos disappeared into the thin air, and the people of the Rukon District made Patrick a hero that day, for saving a bunch of people from a destructive Menos.


Last edited by Mizaki on Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:47 am; edited 4 times in total

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by DewBunny on Thu Jan 28, 2010 3:34 am

need more description on Looks and your history needs to be longer and seperated into paragraphs.

Has the ability to raise Patrick's speed and strength by 5 each.
It can summon 1-3 huge waves of water.

Stamina drain, how many waves can you summon how high are they how powerful are they what would it take to dispell them, Answer all of these. Your description lacks what it is, A DESCRIPTION, describe stuff....

Enculfs the area into a ocean, turning the battlefield into a watery grave.

This is outright denied. this couldn't even be a bankai man YOU'RE FLOODING AN AREA. do you realize how much water that would take? how much energy you'd expend? Seriously your zanpaktou lacks severely in any type of logic thought process. a three year old could have come up with this. "Woo watery....splishy splashy! DUCKY DEMON!!!!!!!!!!" see how stupid this looks? NOT TO MENTION the fact that i just took out the one thing your zanpaktou could have done in one move. Now for your bankai.

Patrick's speed is increased by 10 and his strength increased by 5.
Watery Grave: Brings forth a water demon, he repeatedly attacks the target, then drags them down underwater and attempts to drown them.

How strong are these demons, how many can you summon what are they weak against what are their stats is it easy to kill them is that all they can do how long do they last? seriously man these are all the questions that just floated through my head right now.

Bethedas's tears: Bethedas appears above Patrick and throws icicles at the opponent.

Your zan is materializing, That needs a stamina drain, Your zan is attacking, Stamina Drain, Your attack itself needs drawbacks or you're spamming this and that i won't allow. All together i gotta say this is worse then how Cara described it. Seriously and he was summarizing. Your zanpaktou is a fricking fail just delete it and make a new one because this idea is too vague and massive to work at all.

That enough of a reason besides "I'm pissed" to Deny the hell out of this app?

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by Mizaki on Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:13 am

Okay, I edited it

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by DewBunny on Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:23 am

try this zan

Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Suigetsu

Zanpakuto Looks:


Zanpakuto Description: Usually has the ability to lengthen with humidity and shorten when in dry air. Suigetsu also has the ability to use Phantom blade. It uses the humidity to it’s advantage making a microscopic amount of water follow the tip of the sword.

Released Zanpakuto Description: When Released Suigetsu become pure liquid. Usually it is kept in a whip form with an ice barb at the tip sharp enough to cut steel (Not zanpaktou’s but steel)

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Ripple

Released Zanpakuto Looks: Usually a whip, Suigetsu can be morphed into other objects shapes at the users will. It forms solid objects with a crystalline structure similar to that of a carbon gem

Zanpakuto Spirit: A white wolf

Zanpakuto Realm: A dark forest illuminated by a full moon reflecting off of a pond

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by Mizaki on Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:47 am

Edited =O

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by Koujetsu Hanagayu on Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:11 pm

Patrick's speed is increased by 10 and his strength increased by 5. Patrick's stamina drops 5.
Watery Grave: Brings forth a water demon, he repeatedly attacks the target, then drags them down underwater and attempts to drown them. Patrick can summon 2 at a time, but it costs about 20% of his energy for each one, so he tends to stick with just 1. The demon has the same stats as Patrick, when he activates his bankai. They can stay for about 3 posts.

No. Your Bankai is not recieving the same stats as you when you have shikai and bankai released. Especially since you can summon 2 should you so choose. Thats too much, even for 3 posts as a vice captain.

As for th Suigestu Bankai technique, describe the kido level you would need to break the shield, what it blocks, etc. also the strength of the icicles.

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

Post by Koujetsu Hanagayu on Mon Feb 15, 2010 2:27 pm

Fix, or be archived and redo the entire application. Again

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Re: Patrick Dube 7th Division Lieutenant (COMPLETED)

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